
Discussing end-of-life plans with your parents can be a sensitive topic, but it’s an important conversation to have. Although the conversation may be uncomfortable or awkward, it can provide peace of mind and many families feel closer afterwards. Here are some helpful tips on how to discuss preplanning:
Approach the subject with sensitivity and care.
It’s important to ease into the conversation by letting your parents know you care about them and their wishes and you are there to provide support. Its okay to acknowledge that the topic is uncomfortable, but make it known you are listening with empathy and understanding. It would be helpful to remind them that you don’t want to be putting any of their plans in place for a long time, but want to be prepared for when the time does come.
Explain the benefits of preplanning
Let your parents know the advantages of preplanning early on in the conversation to emphasize the positive side of the conversation. When a death occurs, there are many decisions to be made, papers to sign, and details to arrange. By getting information down ahead of time, loved ones can focus more on their grief and healing and not the stress of funeral details. It may be helpful to mention that planning ahead can also spare the surviving spouse of making difficult decisions during a time of profound grief.
Things to consider
You could start with something broad by asking whether they even want a funeral or not. One important question would be if they would want burial with a casket or cremation. Another approach that could be helpful is to ask what they don’t want, that way you know things to avoid. You could discuss burial items like cemetery plots and headstones, or even get into service details like musical selections and special readings. Many people find comfort in knowing they fulfilled just one of their loved ones final wishes no matter how small the detail may seem. Make sure your parents know they don’t have to figure out every aspect of their plan. Offer to go with them to the funeral home to discuss their wishes with a funeral director if they are comfortable.
Remind yourself and your parents that this conversation doesn’t mean you are saying goodbye. It’s about making sure you all are comfortable and that you want to take out the guesswork when it comes time to fulfill their wishes. Even if they don’t have the answers right away, it shows them that this is something important to think about and you can always circle back to the conversation another time. Our staff at Wing-Bain Funeral Home is here to help you and your family. We can be a third party that helps facilitate the conversation by prompting some questions and keeping the information on file. If you have more questions on preplanning or would like to come in and meet with one of our directors, please give us a call.





